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  • MaLeaque Washington

"Struggling, I Need Your Help!"


These times and life can lead us astray if we aren't actively making Christ our source!

How Far Will I Go

What good is my life if I choose to fill it with such trivial and vaporous things? Filling my schedule and denying time with God. Speaking with my lips that he is the #1 priority in my life but fleeting in action of showing it. Mind filled with worry, doubt and expectations. The anxiousness of provision... Money, food, water, and the extracurricular activities. Pushing for these things without prayer, striving for these things without faith, living with these things without the fear of God. Vetting for my way, my heart and my feelings. Using my way to excuse me from relationships with others, using my way to cloud judgment and bend morality. How far will I need to go outside of the character of Christ to become successful? Oh, how far will I drown in weariness to appease myself, appear flawless before men, and attempt to satisfy my soul? Early mornings and long nights of fighting and not following the one true God. Convincing myself if I just achieve this that my life would be adequate. Financial freedom, a beautiful home, nice cars, retirement, large investments, a beautiful woman, high praise, popularity, control, a perfect family, an amazing wardrobe, ability to travel where and when I want, unlimited sex, and self love.


The Feeling of Not Having

My soul is crying, I realize that my soul is crying. But my realization is without understanding due to my lack of time with God. And my lack of understanding leads to depression, sadness and self pity. I’m a failure, my wife believes I’m a failure, others might see me as a failure. If only I can achieve some type of success then I could pacify the depression and smile for once. This debt, living paycheck to paycheck, I can’t. I can’t take it anymore. My soul is hungry. I know my soul is hungry, if I could only see the sun peek out beyond the clouds on my life I’d be fed. I’m angry. I know I’m angry, God isn’t hearing me. What I mean is he isn’t doing for me! I’m tough, masculinity is tough! I’ll show that I’m strong and continue in my on power. My pride, oh my pride has led me down a dark road... My sin, oh my sin is heavy... What pour soul will receive my wrath, my bitterness, the blame.


Realization

Lord will I run to your arms in repentance before it’s too late? All those times I knew you’d forgive me but I continued to sin has led me hear. It’s torn me apart. Oh Lord, I’ve been blind and forsaken your ways. This time... oh this time I said. I need your help. Those that don’t yet know they need your help! And before it’s too late... I hope we profess you.

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© 2017 by Maleaque Washington. Life Coaching, Personal Training, and Small Business Development.